English Jokes. Collection 1

Некоторые из этих веселых английских анекдотов и анекдотов точно сразят вас наповал!

Эти шутки про британцев точно заставят вас посмеяться. Британский юмор популярен во всем мире благодаря своей самосознательной природе, которая также способствует популярности британских стендап-комедий.

— Meet my new born brother!
— Oh, he is so handsome! What’s his name?
— I don’t know. I can’t understand a word he says

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— My name is Justin Brax. Who are you?
— Well, my name is well-known. You could see me in movies
— Where do you usually sit there?

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— Honey, thanks a lot for dinner
— Don’t mention it
— Could you tell me what was on my plate in case I have to describe it to my doctor

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— I’m really very sorry to leave. Don’t trouble to see me to the door
— It’s no trouble. It’s a pleasure!

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— Excuse me mum for breaking dad’s pipe. I’m so sorry about it
— Have you told your daddy yet?
— I have
— What did he say?
— Shall I leave a rude words?
— Certainly
— He said nothing

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— Hey! Tom ! Have you forgotten you owe me 20 dollars?
— No, not yet. Give me time and I will.

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— Why are you jumping down like that?
— The doctor game me a mixture and I forgot to shake the bottle

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— When I go to Paris,-should I bring you Matisse or Picasso?
— Well ,I think all French cars are just the same

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— Hello .Is it 122345456?
— No, sorry. We don’t have phone at all.

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— The new girl I saw you yesterday was beautiful.
— Well ,it was an old one painted over

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— I can’t understand modern art at all
— I don’t think so. If it hangs on the wall-it’s a picture. If you can walk around, it’s a sculpture

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— Oh. my dear ,you have no idea how grateful I am for your present!
— Did you really want to have it?
— That’s just what I need to exchange for what I want